Online dating یک درمانگر می گوید 3 قدم وجود دارد که افراد می توانند برای داشتن اولین تاریخ موفقیت آمیز انجام دهند

Online dating یک درمانگر می گوید 3 قدم وجود دارد که افراد می توانند برای داشتن اولین تاریخ موفقیت آمیز انجام دهند

Online dating

online dating


De Beste Datingsites

  • Going on a first date with someone new can be a nerve-racking experience, but there are ways to make the most of the often awkward meeting.
  • You shouldn’t stress out about the date or put too much emotional weight on how your date perceives you.
  • Being honest about your relationship deal breakers and how the date went for you will also help.
  • Click here for more BI Prime stories.

If you’re in the market for a committed relationship, chances are you have at least a handful of first dates in your future.

But first-time interactions can be nerve-racking, especially when you know the person you’re meeting is judging your fitness to be their partner. And if your first date is someone you met on a dating app and have no ties to, those feelings of awkwardness could be heightened: One study found that college-age students expected their first dates to be more casual and intimate when they knew their date as an acquaintance or friend first.

Still, it’s possible to make the most of a first date, even if you go into it as strangers.

Kelly Scott, a therapist at Tribeca Therapy, told Business Insider that she has integrated online-dating advice into some of her single patients’ sessions to help them find quality first dates and understand why past experiences may have fallen flat. Here, Scott offers three steps she thinks all daters should complete when going on a first date.

Read more: If you’re the victim of an affair, you might want to revenge cheat. A therapist says the move could ruin your relationship for good.

Online dating Be upfront about your deal breakers

Before you meet up with your date, or even before you match with someone on a dating app, it’s important you’re honest with yourself about the things you need in a long-term partner, Scott said.

Whether you absolutely would never date a smoker, or you need to be with someone who also wants to start a family, knowing your deal breakers before you pursue a relationship will make the experience that much more fulfilling because you know you’re not wasting your time (or your prospective date’s time) with a dead-end experience.

Though you won’t necessarily bring up these deal breakers on your first date — Scott said they should come up naturally within your first few dates — knowing them ahead of your first meeting will help you keep your priorities straight and notice any red flags that suggest this person isn’t right for you.

Read more: How to prevent wedding-planning stress from ruining the big day, according to a therapist devoted to anxious brides

Scott said it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind feeling of an exciting first date, but people should “treat every interaction as collecting data” when they’re initially learning about a love interest. “People misinterpret and ignore things to their detriment,” she added, and may end up dating someone who turned out to be different from the person they thought they were.

Online dating Don’t take the date too seriously

online dating laugh Take every good and bad interaction on your date with a grain of salt. Unsplash / Katie Treadway

Though it’s a good idea to put your best foot forward for your first date, it’s also important that you don’t give the initial meeting’s outcome too much weight, since a bad outcome can leave you feeling discouraged about future first dates.

Scott said people often go into first dates with “so much hope, optimism, and excitement, which is appropriate but can make rejection feel bad.”

Instead, remember that if you don’t hit it off with your date, they don’t really know you that well, and it doesn’t mean you’re doomed to never find love.

Online dating Be honest about whether or not you had a great time

online dating couple talking on steps Find a nice way to tell your date where you see this going. PH888/Shutterstock

When your first date is wrapping up, it’s important you don’t beat around the bush. Whether you had an amazing time, an OK time, or a not-so-great time, Scott said you should find a nice way to tell your date where you see things going.

If you’re not interested in going on another date, say something like, “Listen, you’re really lovely, but I’m not feeling it,” Scott said. Say, “Thank you,” too.

Being so straightforward can be scary, especially in a time when it’s so easy to hide behind a text or dating-app message, but it’s considerate to be up front about your feelings. And for goodness sake, don’t ghost a first date if you’re not feeling it, even if you’re fearful of how they’ll respond.

If someone “is intimidated by your forwardness, then that’s not the person for you,” Scott said.

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