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Tactical dating simulator Fire Emblem: Three Houses received a sizable update this morning, giving folks some more stuff to play around with as they alternate between leading teenagers into battle and attempting to woo the guy or gal of their digital dreams.
In addition getting several new auxiliary battles and an extra-difficult mode for the game, players can now clothe their soldiers in special lounge outfits that look a lot like medieval basketball jerseys. Players can also improve the main character’s vision with a pair of eyeglasses, which I have now realized is a thing the internet very much enjoys.
WARNING: I haven’t finished Fire Emblem: Three Houses so it’s entirely possible some of the posts below spoil story moments without my knowledge. Continue at your own risk if you’re worried about that sort of thing.
Let’s start with those new outfits. The shorts and tank tops that your soldiers can now wear will take on the color of the house you chose at the beginning of the game, which only makes the sports jersey comparisons more apt.
I don’t think that’s the kind of ball the students are talking about.
Marianne was already popular, but pulling a Kobe is definitely going to raise her profile when it comes time to pick teams at Fódlan’s version of the YMCA.
Speaking of basketball, an artist who goes by Tannith imagined some of the cast as part of a hypothetical Space Jam crossover.
Golden Deer housemates Claude and Hilda laugh at Dimitri in this recreation of a classic meme.
As if getting killed by a group of kids wasn’t embarrassing enough…
No game, no ass… poor Sylvain.
Japanese artist Ippei painted this beautiful shot of Claude landing a bicycle kick. When’s Fire Emblem Strikers?
Reactions to Byleth’s glasses have been more amorous than humorous. This sweet drawing imagines her spending some down time with a book and one of Garreg Mach Monastery’s many cats—cats that you still can’t pet in-game, Nintendo.
This cat was the perfect reaction to a shot of Byleth in her new eyewear.
The less popular male Byleth also got some love. “GLASSES 🅱️YLETH DM ME” indeed.
Why can’t I hold all these Byleths with glasses?
And finally, as someone who absolutely needs eyeglasses to function, this speaks to me on so many levels. Please do not touch my glasses.